Trouble with Rouge
by Icy Knuckles
Summary: When irritating Rouge interferes in the personal lives of Sonic, Shadow, and Silver, they decide to get her out of their hair by hiring an old friend of theirs to keep her busy by pretending to be interested in her. Hilarity and Drama is ensured.
1. Intro

_It's been a while since I dropped a story on my fan fiction peoples. It's Christmas break; so I'm about to see what I can do. I'm sure that I still have some juice left in the cup. Let's get it on._

* * *

The sound from the piano came out so beautiful. Every note, every key, each as soft and beautiful as the next. Everything was perfect. The flowers were all the best that money could buy. Long-stemmed roses, tulips, daisies, orchids, and lilies freshly imported from the Rose Garden in the Botanic Kingdom. Candles burned with great intensity as they sat burning amidst the flowers. The Chapel had quite the crowd. People from all over the city had heard about and gathered out for the event at hand. Alas, this was not a very exciting event as the audience directed their attention to the wreath in the altar with a few light weeps from some of the crowd. It read R.I.P. Next to the wreath was a well crafted, nice sized urn. Next to the urn upon a pedestal was a picture of the person whose funeral that was being attended. The person on the picture was a red echidna by the name of Knuckles the Echidna.

(Knuckles' P.O.V.)

_Do you want to know when a funeral is really awful? It's really awful when it's yours, That's me up there, Knuckles the Echidna: Young, Gifted, and Dead. These are my remain right here in this urn. You might be wondering how I came to my demise. Well, it's really an interesting tale. First off, I'd like to introduce you to a few people. Those three mournful hedgehogs up front are Sonic the Hedgehog, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Silver the Hedgehog. You might've heard of them. You might not have. Well, they are the ones who killed me. Sure, they look sad, but they're really throwing a party on the inside. It's a celebration, bitches! Heh. But I digress. Even though they killed me, they're not the reason I'm dead. No, you didn't miss a word. You read correctly. They killed me, but they're not the reason I'm dead. I promise it'll all make sense in a minute. Just bear with me. These are their women respectively: Amy Rose, Blaze the Cat, and Tikal the Echidna. Aren't they sexy? Some families just have great genes, and these three are a testimony to that, but they're not the reason why I'm dead either. SHE IS! Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you all to Rouge the Bat. As you can see, she's a very attractive bat. She's got it all: slender hips, lips, and fingertips. The emotion shown on her face shows you that she really cared about me. She was the one who arranged my funeral. It's very heartwarming stuff. It makes you wonder how a sweet faced woman such as this could cause a man to die. Well, it all began six months ago…._

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* * *

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Not a bad beginning I would say. This was short, but it gets a whole lot better. I promise you this. Icy Knuckles is back in effect. Hit me up sometimes. You know where my page is.

ICY KNUCKLES


	2. The Plan

_Well, I told you that it wouldn't be long; and I certainly hope that I didn't keep you waiting too long. Without further ado, here's the next chapter. _

* * *

Sonic, Shadow, and Silver were all sitting in Sonic's living room with the TV turned on. The football game was on and the guys were amped. The Station Square Cyclones were taking on the Westopolis Reigns. They had snacks galore. There were chili dogs, chips, nachos, candies, popcorn, and enough Chao Cola to sink the Titanic all over again. The guys just knew that this was going to be a joyous night.

"Hey, Shadow, I bet 100 rings that the Cyclones win," said Sonic.

"I'd be a fool not to take that bet," said Shadow. "Everyone knows that the Reigns are going to crush the Cyclones like they do every year."

"Not this year. Our new quarterback's going to bring the Reigns to their knees," said Sonic.

"You must not know about the Reigns' star defensive players. Their secondary is all but unstoppable. No passes get through them," said Shadow.

"Will you two just make the bet and shut up. I'm trying to watch the game," said Silver.

"Silver, will you lighten up? I'm trying to take Shadow's money over here," said Sonic.

"In your dreams, betting with me will get your feelings hurt. I've done it before, and I'll do it again. Remember last year at the Superbowl party when Sonic and I betted on the game, and he came home wearing that lampshade," said Shadow.

"I remember that," said Silver. He started snickering. The lampshade was all that he had on."

Sonic blushed slightly from embarrassment. He had in fact lost a great amount of money in the past to Shadow, which was why he was never hesitant to make a bet with Shadow. He had to regain some of his dignity. It was a man thing. "Yeah, well how about you take some of that money that you won off me and use it to get Blaze an engagement ring?"

"It's just not that time yet. I'm not ready to give up being single yet," said Shadow.

"Shadow, you stay at her house like you live there. You're always with her. Hell, you might as well go ahead and marry her. There's not a single thing you're doing now that you wouldn't be able to do if you got married," said Silver. "Tikal and I just got married, and we've been dating each other for a shorter period than you and Blaze."

"I just don't want to mess up a good thing. You know?" Shadow asked. They both nodded. "But you might be onto something. Blaze keeps talking to Rouge about our situation and she's filling Blaze's head up with all that nonsense about the 'traditional' way of doing things. Rouge doesn't think that we should live together until we get married, and you know how our girls all think about what Rouge tells them."

Sonic kicked back in his recliner. "I can relate to that. Rouge has been butting into my life as well."

"Let's not talk about Rouge right now," said Silver. She's in the kitchen with Amy and the girls, and you know her ears can pick up on everything," he whispered.

"Are you scared of Rouge?" asked Shadow.

Silver twitched a bit. "She is the spawn of Iblis. Every time she comes around, I feel the life being sucked out of me. She and her fiery attitude just get under my skin. That's all."

"I bet Silver wets his pants when she comes around, too," Sonic snickered.

Silver growled. Then, he used his telekinetic powers to make a chili dog explode into Sonic's face just as he tried to take a bite of it. The explosion scared Sonic into falling onto the floor with chili all in his spines. Silver then chuckled at Sonic's fall. Payback was o so sweet.

"Silver, I'm going to rip you a new one," said Sonic. He hopped up from the floor and darted at Silver but not before being stopped by Shadow's hand.

"Check it out. The Reigns have a man wide open. Throw it!" Shadow screamed.

On the TV, the Reigns quarterback threw the ball to the open receiver.

"Intercept it! Come on!" Sonic shouted at the TV.

Soon, all three hedgehogs were making noise and shouting at the TV. None of it was understandable since they were all shouting at the same time. Sonic suddenly forgot that he was supposed to get even with Silver and started watching the game. Silver did the same. For the next twenty minutes, Sonic, Shadow, and Silver all watched the game as intently as guys usually do. Every big play caused a loud and rambunctious scream or a shout of awe from these young hedgehogs.

"Touchdown!" said Sonic finally as all three of them fell back into their seats after a touchdown pass by the Cyclones. "Shadow, get ready to pay me my money."

"It's not over yet," said Shadow.

Suddenly, Amy came from the kitchen and stood in front of the TV. There was a bowl of chopped fruit in each one of her hands. This wasn't your average Amy. This was much more mature Amy with longer hair, a figure complete with enough curves to catch a blind man's eye, and a darker, fuller color of pink like hot pink.

"Hey, baby. That was really nice of you, but we already have some food here," said Sonic.

"Sonic, what do you think you are doing?" she asked.

"We're trying to watch the game, which is right behind you. Do you mind?" he asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do mind. My book club is meeting here tonight," said Amy.

"Baby, remember last month when I asked you, and you said that it was okay if we watched the game here tonight? Do you remember that?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah, well Rouge changed all that. She was supposed to tell you that," said Amy.

"Well, she didn't," said Sonic.

Suddenly, Tikal and Blaze came from the kitchen with more trays of food.

"Look, it's the men. What's going on here?" asked Tikal.

"Are you three joining our book club? Tonight, we're supposed to be discussing the memoirs of Langston Hughes," said Blaze.

"No, we're not," said Sonic. Listen, Ames, um, would it be a problem for you to take your book club meeting into the other room because we're all settled in here?"

"Yes. Please?" asked Shadow and Silver simultaneously.

"Well, I guess we could," said Amy.

"Thanks, babe," said Sonic with a slight cheer of victory. "You're the best. I love you, baby."

"You have a great girl there," said Silver.

"NO! NO! We cannot," said a voice that came booming from the kitchen.

Sonic's smile turned upside down real fast as the three of them looked at who was coming out of the kitchen now. She walked up to them with a look of spite on her face so powerful that it could've made Mephiles cry. Her face looked as content as ever as she marched in front of Amy and the other girls to face the guys. Her wings were erect and stiff. The stripes on her business attired suit seemed to be glowing more and more brightly and she got closer. She took a good look at the guys before addressing them. It was a long, powerful look that raised the spines on the guys' heads and sent chills down their bodies.

"Sonic, Shadow, Silver, our book club is reading the memoirs of Langston Hughes, and we're going to need the television to watch the movie based on his life when we're done," said Rouge.

Amy looked at Rouge and then at Sonic. "Oh yeah, that's right. We need the room, honey. Sorry!" Without saying another word, she walked away and began setting up the food.

Sonic stood up and faced Rouge face to face. "You did not tell me that you wanted to use a room in MY house, Rouge," said Sonic.

"Well, I'm telling you right now, Sonic. And it is half my sister's house, too. Besides, I want Amy to make a good impression on the book club. Don't you?" asked Rouge.

"No!" said Sonic boldly.

Amy came out of the kitchen. "Excuse me?"

"Yes!" said Sonic even bolder.

Sonic knew he was beat and decided to sit down. Silver stood up next.

"Look, Rouge, we were here first," he said.

"Yes, but certainly the temporal proximity of our advents isn't determinative, isn't it?" she asked with a bitchy smirk on her face.

A long moment of silence passed between the two. Silver knew that he was beat as well. He didn't even understand what she had just said. He finally conceded. "I'll get back to you on that one." After saying his peace, he sat back down.

"Yeah, you do that," said Rouge.

"What the hell did she just say?" Silver whispered to Sonic.

It was now Shadow's turn to take a shot at Rouge.

"Look, Rouge, you don't get to me with your fifty dollar words," he said.

"That's right," said Silver.

"Now, what would you say if I demanded that you leave the room?" Shadow asked. He crossed his arms. Sonic and Silver stood behind him to back him up. They crossed their arms as well.

Rouge chuckled. "I would say that I find your particular brand of crack very amusing. This isn't about a book vs. a football game, gentlemen. Oh no! This is about men vs. women, women who aspire to culture and men who aspire to scratch themselves, women who bear the burdens in life and men who create those burdens, women who aspire to uplift humanity and men who uplift lap dances. If society were left to the whims of men, we'd still be in caves carving pictures with our non-opposable thumbs. So today, gentlemen, is a day for civilized behavior. Today, we women raise our voices against crudeness, tyranny, and playoff games. And that is it, gentlemen. End of story. The fat lady's singing! Get the hell out of the room right now. By the way, if any of that was lost upon you then I've just proven my point again." Rouge gave them a devilish and evil smirk and then walked off.

"Amy, baby, I am putting my foot down." Sonic uplifted his foot and made a huge stomp on the floor.

* * *

The game raged on for another hour and a half. It was definitely one for the history books. It went into overtime with the Reigns pulling it out in the end with a 56 yard field goal. The game was definitely worth it. Unfortunately for the guys, it was hard for them to see it. There were about twenty to thirty more guys in front of them by the TV in the bar. They were shouting and screaming into the TV even louder than the three of them had been doing earlier. Sonic and Silver tried to look over some shoulders to see what was happening but some of the guys were just too tall for them. Shadow had given up trying to see the game minutes ago. He sat on a stool never even knowing that he had won the bet with Sonic.

"Damn, Damn! I can't stand her," said Silver. He finally gave up and walked off. Sonic and Shadow were behind him.

"I can't stand her either, but you really need to calm down, Silver. You're making me stressed," said Sonic.

"You need to stand up to your wife, Sonic," said Shadow. "It's like she's taken your balls and turned them into earrings. She's just out there bling-blinging with your nuts on her ears."

"This is what we get for being with Rouge's little sisters. They could never stand up to us without her," said Silver.

"When I married Amy, it felt like I was in heaven and the rest of my life was going to be heavenly. I didn't think that it came with the sister-in-law from hell," said Sonic.

"None of them are even real sisters. That's what I don't understand," said Shadow.

"All four of them were orphans. They all found themselves living out on the streets for years. They protected each other and hung together in order to survive. Eventually, they became inseparable. Blood could not make them any closer than they already are; therefore, the title, 'sister', that they give to each other is fitting. Rouge, being the oldest, took charge and took on the responsibility of raising them until they were able to hold their own," said Sonic.

"Damn right they're inseparable. Did you see how they stuck together in that argument? It's one for all and all for Rouge," said Silver.

"Let's try to be compassionate here. When you look at their situation, you see why they have to stick together," said Sonic.

"I see what you're saying. I don't care about them being together. It's just that Rouge is a royal pain in the ass. I have one nerve left and she's dancing on that," said Shadow. "We've got to do something about her."

"Do you have something in mind?" asked Silver. "I'm all ears.

"We could shoot that bitch," said Shadow.

Silver started laughing. "That could work. You work with G.U.N. You could cover it up real good, too."

"You're laughing, but he's serious," said Sonic.

Silver looked over and saw that there wasn't any sign of a smile even possibly showing up on Shadow's face. He was dead serious. "Still, we've got to do something. I mean, this is ridiculous. I feel like I married both Tikal and Rouge because I never see just one. When I do have Tikal to myself, she always brings Rouge up. It's time for a change.

As if on cue, the guys turn their head and see two girls, a bat and a mongoose, arguing over a guy. He appeared to be a red echidna. Their argument began to get more and more noticeable as the seconds rolled by.

"I thought I told you to get your hands off of my man," said the mongoose.

"There's no need for this," said the red echidna in a suave, smooth voice.

"If he's your man, why is he here with me then?" asked the bat. She squeezed the red echidna's arm tighter.

"Charity work, heifer," said the mongoose.

"That's it," said the bat. She let go of the echidna's arm and pulled off her earrings. The two girls were getting ready to scrap until the echidna stepped between them. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is all just a big misunderstanding, okay?

Shadow took a good look at the echidna. "Hey, I know that guy. Hey Knuckles!" He called out to the echidna and waved. "I didn't even know that he was back in town."

The echidna waved at him and gestured one finger to signify that he needed a minute.

"You should be mad with me, not each other. I'm the one who deceived you. The truth of the matter is that I've been dating both of you without a commitment to either one of you because I just couldn't decide between you two," said Knuckles.

"I think that he might be the guy to rid us of Rouge once and for all," said Shadow.

"That guy? C'mon. These girls are about to curse his ass out and leave him high and dry. Watch," said Silver.

"Yeah, I think Silver's right about this one," said Sonic.

"Come on. Let's get out of here," said the bat. She took Knuckles by the arm. Then, she surprisingly took the mongoose by the arm, too.

"Me too?" the mongoose asked.

The bat smiled and nodded.

Sonic and Silver were left in awe. Shadow ran over to Knuckles before he could get taken away.

"No way!" said Silver. "Did you see that?"

"WOW!" Sonic added.

After a quick minute, Shadow came back over to them after speaking with Knuckles. "Fellas, he said that he'll meet us here the day after tomorrow."

"Okay, so he's a player. How does that help our Rouge problem?" asked Silver.

"Rouge just needs a man. Obviously, she's jealous that we're dating her sisters and she has no one for herself. That would explain why she sticks so close to them," said Shadow.

"Shadow, you're a dumbass. Remember when we tried that with my brother, Manic?" asked Sonic.

_(flashback)_

"What did you say to me?" asked Rouge. A big vein was throbbing in her head.

"Baby, all I said was that you was a little uptight, but I like that though; so it was like a compliment… in reverse," said Manic.

"Oh, in reverse? Yeah, I see now," said Rouge with a smile.

"You get it?" he asked

"Yes." Rouge began circling around Manic. "Did you know that female spiders eat the male when she's done with him? Yeah, they date, they laugh, and then she turns his ass into a crab cake. Now, while the prospect of biting your head off intrigues me, I am ultimately sure that you are not a Happy Meal; so I'm moving onto better cuisine. Goodbye Manic." With that, she walked off and left him standing there, dazed and confused.

"Rouge, wait. You're just going to say goodbye?"

"Oh, it's not goodbye. It's hello in reverse," she said. Then, she walked off even faster with a disappointed and angry look on her face. Manic tried calling out to her again but she didn't bother turning around again, not after the way she chewed him up and spit him out. That was enough.

_(end flashback)_

"Rouge put my brother in a mental ward," said Sonic.

"Sonic, you're always exaggerating," said Shadow.

"Rouge drove his brother insane. I saw him last week. Now, he t-t-t-talks l-l-l-like this," said Silver.

"I know that this can work with Knuckles. That guy is a specialist. He's one of the master players. I know he can get Rouge to let go of her sisters. Then, when it's just us and them, we can have all of their love," said Shadow.

"I see what you're saying," said Silver. "We can get Knuckles to seduce her, then give her some you-know-what and she's butter."

"Hold up. What Rouge really needs is a sensitive man," said Sonic. She needs someone that's going to help her with her personality problems."

"What she needs is someone that can hit that ass until she starts speaking in tongues," said Silver. He started doing some stupid, ignorant chant.

"Amen!" said Shadow.

"Let's just hope that Knuckles is able to put up with her," said Sonic.

* * *

_Ah yes! It feels so good to be back and with such an addicting story, too. I can't stop writing. I hope you enjoyed the first true chapter. There's more to come. In the meantime, take the time out to review and tell me how I did._

_ICY KNUCKLES_


End file.
